Worried that your relationship isn't living up to your expectations? Here's what you should know before you give up on it, writes DrJillWeber
It’s important to know what reality looks like so you don’t have to feel like a failure every time it hits. As you accept what you and your partner struggle with, it means you can get help and improve things. Here are 10 myths about healthy marriages:Truth: You are two people with different needs, temperaments and day-to-day fluctuations.
Perhaps you watch TV every night on opposite ends of the sofa, eat a meal, or both read your books but all the while you don’t feel emotionally close. We are creatures of habit and comfort. You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone and work to have those intimate conversations. In a long-term union, there will be times you have to work at being close.Truth: Sure, it really helps to have a few things you enjoy doing with your spouse but these don’t have to be big ticket items.
to be married to a replica of yourself that never disagreed. What’s important is to listen, validate and reach a compromise. Sometimes this takes time…Some people get over things quickly and others need more time to return to baseline. It doesn’t mean your partner loves you any less if they need time to warm back up to you. What’s important is to know what each of you needs to feel safe reconnecting again.Truth: Long-term relationships have ups and downs in the sex department as well.
In fact, it’s extremely helpful to see a therapist when you and your spouse simply feel stuck. Couples therapy is a way to learn tools of coping and communicating so that things don’t get worse and to ward off bad habits. Therapy can help your marital system work more effortlessly; it is not a sign that the marriage is over.Truth: Yes, of course, it’s important to feel liked by your partner but healthy people also need their own separate interests.
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