Asking personal questions can build intimacy between almost any two people. For romantic partners, the same is true—if they ask the right ones.
Maintaining intimacy in relationships also requires continuously sharing the parts of you that shift and evolve. Research shows that one of the best ways to maintain passion in long-term relationships is for both partners to foster their own personal growth. This works, however, only when partners find time to reconnect and share these new aspects of themselves. Falling and staying in love requires getting to know someone at a deeper level continuously over time.
The most compelling research that shows how question-asking can encourage intimacy comes from a famous experiment by psychologist Arthur Aron. The results of Aron’s work showed that couples who had met just an hour ago in a lab setting reported feeling significantly closer to each other after the question session. They “fell in love.” Aron concluded that it was the personal disclosure and vulnerability created by question-asking that made way for intimacy and connection.
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