A walk down memory lane, littered with notes written in glittery gel pen
These freshman-year notes might seem frivolous, and like compelling evidence as to why I flunked algebra twice. But revisiting them, they strike me as a revealing document of adolescent desire, as well as a catalog of our own grasping attempts to understand the world we were entering into as teenage girls. They also record a moment of support and bonding between friends during a time of uncertain transition. Maybe that’s why I’ve kept those reams of notes for over two decades.
In one note, we made a flow chart of acquaintances of my next-door neighbor, a senior soccer player and verifiable Cool Guy, who sometimes waved to me from our neighboring windows. “The Neighbor” was one of our most frequent subjects, in part because sheer proximity made for weekly run-ins, which we recorded, of course:SATURDAY: As we’re walking up to my house, he walks up to his house. He grins, nods and says, “Hey.” We smile.
M. and I had little in the way of substantial crush interaction, but nonetheless parsed meaning from the smallest of encounters and strategized future ones, scripting basic dialogue. “I’ve planned what I’m saying to J. next time,” I wrote of my next-door neighbor, whose actual name I’d figured out. “I’m gonna go ‘Wassup?’ & he’ll do his lil ‘Wassuuuup?’ thing & I’ll go, ‘So what’s your name?’ And then that’d be a perfect conversation starter & way to introduce myself.
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