The same behaviors that helped you cope with a narcissistic parent could be hurting your adult relationships. Here's how to tell—and what to do about it.
11. Trust others unwisely or, conversely, find it hard to trust even when you want to?12. Believe that dysfunction in relationships is normal or unavoidable?Your parent lied, stonewalled, held grudges, or never took responsibility for their actions.Your parent minimized or ridiculed your emotions, or attacked you for having emotions they didn’t like.Your parent acted like a martyr, or became unhinged by your healthy independence.
Human behavior is complex, and it would be a simplification to say that just because your parent did A, you will automatically do B. But years of being on the receiving end of narcissisticAs children, acknowledging family dysfunction when we have little power to do anything about it can feel devastating. As a result, we may ignore unhealthy patterns, believe what we see to be normal, blame ourselves, or seek means of escape.
However, a difficult upbringing does not mean you are irreparably damaged or that your life will always be difficult. If you notice yourself falling into one or more of the patterns listed above, the following steps may help:Troubling feelings or counterproductive behaviors such as the 15 listed above can serve as a signal that your parents’ narcissism from decades ago is trying to reach into your present life. Your parents might like their legacy to continue forever. Don’t let it.Narcissistic parents may have blamed you for their problems and taken advantage of you for their own gratification.
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