'I snuck my drunk boyfriend into the house and he went into my parents' bedroom and passed out right next to their bed.'
"I was seven years old, and had just gotten my first pair of 'heels.' So of course I thought it would be a good idea to fucking tap dance on the glass table! Well, when the table shattered — as it was inevitably going to — my dad was so grateful that I wasn't hurt that he didn't even get mad.""When my sister and I were younger, we had a pet rabbit named Buster, who was sadly killed by the neighbors' dogs one day and buried in a plastic bag in our garden.
We were on her back porch, half-naked and smoking in the dead of winter, when! Well, I somehow got the bright idea to completely punch my mom's window out and crawl inside! But then we totally panicked, so we got dressed and drove down to Home Depot to find a similar window, and called my boyfriend's 'cool uncle' to replace it. Seven years later, my mom still doesn't know.
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