'She wanted a divorce because her husband's dick was too big and sex became 'too much work.''
"I overheard a divorcing couple in my associate's office arguing about all the reasons they disliked each other when all of a sudden the husband started screaming about the wife leaving shit stains in the toilet.""A friend of mine and his wife played the lottery, and one day he came up with the idea to prank his wife by playing the previous day's winning numbers. So he bought the ticket and snuck it on the fridge.
But then she went silent for a moment...before yelling back that"15 minutes later, she came downstairs with both of their kids in tow, saying she forgot to tell him they were going to her mom's for the day, and she left. Then my friend went to check the fridge and the trash — the ticket was nowhere to be found, and his wife wouldn't return his calls.
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