PSA: Lubricant is not lunch!
I went on a few dates with a doctor from out of state. I invited him to my 30th birthday party with all my friends and family there. He got wasted, puked all over the bar, and my sober self had to take care of him the whole night. We got food at Katz to sober him up, where he proceeded to puke again, then he promptly fell asleep on my shoulder. We got to my place and, after the sloppiest makeout session of my life, he informed me that he is a virgin and saving himself for marriage.
I was ready to go home, but he suggested we go to one more bar. I declined and when we got the bill, which was outrageously expensive because of all of his top-shelf vodkas, he said he'd left his wallet at the office. But he said it in a way that I just knew he’d known this the whole time. I was pissed and tired by this point, so I agreed to pay the bill with the expectation that he’d Venmo me like he promised he would.
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