“We’ve grown up with this fear since we received this diagnosis when she was 2 years old. My parents were very upfront, like, this is your little sister, she needs your help, don’t ever let her down. It’s started to hit me. I’m 24 now”
Photo-Illustration: by Stevie Remsberg/Photos: Getty It’s All Relative is an exploration of all the different ways of being a family in the year 2019.
Below, three women share what it’s like to be ambitious in their careers, date, and communicate with their families while caring for a disabled sibling. When my husband and I were dating, I told him that one of my deal breakers was, if it comes to a point where my parents can’t take care of my sister, and he wants to marry me, he has to be okay with my sister moving in with us. He was like, that’s not even a question, that we would take Rekha.
Nour, 24, medical student in Manhattan Her 20-year-old sister, Yasmin, is on the autism spectrum and lives with their family in Connecticut. It is extremely difficult to study if I want to get early morning [studying in] at home. It’s very difficult to just focus on your day and try to remember all the things you want to accomplish. Our family’s perspective has always been that Yasmin will always live with one of us, even if it gets extremely uncomfortable for us for her to live here. Living in an assisted-care facility is not an option. We are all just too afraid she won’t like it, she’ll be isolated. Or, she might be assaulted.
If my parents were to pass away, like drop dead right now for example, I would be the one calling the shots. I think my parents have tried very hard to have me live my own life at this stage in my life, [but] I just know when my parents go or are not able to make decisions around his care, which could very well happen in the next ten years, it will just become a part of my life.
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