Reclaiming your feelings can help you dig deeper and respond to stressors in healthier ways. Here's how.
The stories we tell about our emotions often make it seem like other people deserve the blame when we feel sad, angry, or hurt.Digging deeper and acknowledging how our past might be influencing us can help us to choose healthier responses.
When you believe your feelings are entirely at the mercy of someone else, you lose a great deal of personal power. This is, in part, because both your interpretation of and reaction to your circumstances can have as much impact on how you feel as the situation itself. If you find yourself reading negative thoughts into what someone said about you or using something they did to put yourself down and feel victimized, you are doing yourself a disservice.
A person’s tendency to “play the victim” is something they usually come by honestly, often based on circumstances from their past. Victimized feelings may have been appropriate to the situation we were in when we were young children without power, helpless, and at the mercy of our parents. In discussing this, my father, the psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote, “Later as an adult, things happen that are sometimes beyond your control and understanding.
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