Taking responsibility for hurtful behavior in the moment is rare for people who are high in narcissism. Here's how that can affect their relationships, by DrErinLeonard
the partner, dismiss the partner or withdraw their affection to punish the partner passively aggressively. Owning a hurtful action in the moment is rare for narcissists because they are typically robustly defensive and resist “looking in the mirror.”
However, after several days or weeks pass, the narcissist may try to take responsibility for their selfish act but eventually minimize or subtly justify the transgression. In place of authentic and heartfelt introspection during the course of the interaction, it can take days and weeks for the narcissist to grasp an understanding of their emotional mistreatment, and even then, they may not grasp the negative impact their actions had on you.
A narcissist may be too fragile to put themselves in another person’s shoes because it is difficult and taxes a waning sense of self. Providing empathy requires a person have “broad emotional shoulders.” A narcissist usually has lowand thus prefers to be sympathetic because they escape the brief hardship empathy requires. Instead, they would rather to be the hero. Sympathizing allows them to emotionally distance themselves from the pain by pitying you.
In addition, the narcissist may unfairly frame your attempt to address an issue with them as “aggressive” or “antagonistic.” They may immediately position themselves as the victim in the interaction and you as the “abusive party.” They often convince you and many others that you are unfairly persecuting them. In addition, a narcissist may take this as an opportunity to project their tendencies onto you.
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