'I nearly broke up with my white American boyfriend over chai tea.' PhadkeTai writes on how dating across cultures can turn small instances of ignorance into something more
It’s true. Not cheating, not disparate life goals, not some fundamental personality mismatch that slowly drives two people apart. Chai tea.
Both of us clung stubbornly to our points, going around in increasingly exhausting circles until finally, the subject escalated. Wildly. Somehow, a texted discussion about tea turned into a raging argument about race and cultural appropriation and microaggressions, one that spanned across many different time zones — he was finishing a semester of school in New York at the time, and I was in Beijing, where we had met.
The incident was something of a milestone for us. It wasn’t our first big fight. But it was the first time since we had begun dating that Cory and I had confronted this elephant in our relationship. And it was the moment we began to acknowledge all the baggage, and all the tricky little bits, of being in a cross-cultural relationship, things we hadn’t really noticed in the early days of getting to know each other.
I knew what else they were thinking: White people, especially the men, are all obviously low on morals and obsessed with sex, which, by association, made me a slut. Indian culture can be a fair bit prudish about sex, having come a long way from the time we literally produced an ancient treatise on sexuality.
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