A Guide to E-Mail Sign-Offs

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A Guide to E-Mail Sign-Offs
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“Best” indicates a high level of effortless elegance in business affairs. “All best” indicates a person who has gone completely off the rails.

“XOXO”: Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean “hugs and kisses.” If anything, it’s intended to convey light affection, like a pat on the butt from a Texan aunt. You shouldn’t take it as anything more.

“XO”: This is like when you lean in to kiss your Texan aunt on the cheek but you both turn the wrong way and kiss on the mouth.“XX”: This indicates strong professional hostility. People who sign off with “XX” wish you the worst, can’t stand the way you move through the world, and if they had their way they would give you a haunted music box at the office holiday-gift exchange.

“All the best”: When a person signs off this way, she truly wants the best for you. Not only that, but she is talented, graceful, and tolerant, and knows exactly how to do everything from parallel parking to “processing” a squash. “Best”: This indicates the highest level of effortless elegance and agility in business affairs. If you are signing off “Best,” you are clearly in the middle of an intensely legitimate correspondence. You and the recipient both have classy paperweights, substantial fountain pens, and completely illegible yet very sophisticated signatures; you’re probably both “scary good” at oral sex and are open to everything, but have also mastered the art of saying “no.

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