Advice: A letter writer wonders if it’s okay to ask for a plus one to a wedding when you weren’t originally given one.
The groom is the eldest son of our closest family friend. My son will likely not want to travel from one coast to the other for the April wedding without his girlfriend. Including our son was probably prompted by the groom’s dad, as he has played a role like a godfather to our son.
You can’t just change a wedding invitation. You can, however, gingerly and respectfully ask if they might have room for a “plus one.”And yes, if your son got engaged before the wedding, the marrying couple might be embarrassed if they learned about it later and hadn’t included the fiancee in the invitation. But that is almost the worst reason in the world to rush an engagement.
I will say this, as a daughter, mother and very happy stepmother: If you give people power and control over your life, they will happily take it and run with it.Children who don’t respect a parent’s right to make choices — even poor ones — are assuming control over the relationship. Sometimes they will even shamelessly use access to grandchildren as the anvil dangling over a parent’s head.
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