Advice by Carolyn Hax: Apologies aren’t a good thing when the apology does nothing to improve the quality of life of the person you wronged.
I know through mutual friends that they reconciled and have since married. Would it be good/okay to write now and apologize, or is that just stirring up old pain for no reason?Oh my. That would be , Stirring up old pain for no reason.Apologies aren’t a good thing when the apology does nothing to improve the quality of life of the person you wronged.
That doesn’t leave you entirely without recourse. Doing something rotten that you know was rotten and that you can’t undo or repair will feel, understandably, like a personal low point — but as anyone who has navigated out of the depths can tell you, it’s part devastation, part opportunity.Your impulse to apologize is an impulse to be good. So, find some other, private ways to be good, to balance out the losses you caused and then some.
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