I love five and I hate five. I long for five and I dread five.
Being a 5-year-old means you are entitled to all things big kid, but you also need all things little kid. You want to go to the movies and see the latest “Godzilla” movie with your 9-year-old brother , but you will demand to sit in mama’s lap the whole time. You want a boogie board at the beach , but you will not use it and would rather dig in the sand. You want Star Wars action figures you don’t play with and sleep with your stuffies.Five means the rules don’t apply.
When you are five, the rules are the rules. They are ironclad. They mean everything. They are order and sanity and beat back the chaos that it modern life. If you see someone breaking the rules, you must immediately inform an adult. If someone is accused of breaking the rules when you are five, you must immediately clarify that you, personally, were not breaking said rule.
“Blaise,” I’ll say to my 9-year-old. “Stop making your cheese into a weird crushed ball before you eat it.” “I wasn’t doing that!” 5-year-old Simon will proclaim. Uh-huh. Because I wasdear 5-year-old, may leave your shoes in the middle of the floor. You, darling five, may hit and kick your brother, then say that he started it. You may whine and cry for what you want, though whining and crying for what you want is strictly prohibited. You may tattle. You may leave your toys out.
But your 5-year-old also ventures into new territory. Everything is awesome, especially the Lego Movie and Ninjago. You start to move into big kid cartoons, which in our house means Rocko’s Modern Life and Odd Squad and Bugs Bunny and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.Five is always growing. This means that you can’t be awesome all of the time, because your 5-year-old isParents of 5-year-olds know they damn well better carry snacks.
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