Experts and folks in age-gap relationships themselves get real about certain long-held stereotypes.
podcast. This feeds into the assumption that the younger person is “giving something up” to be with the older person, who may have more money and, thus, power. But none of the younger parties I spoke with throughout my reporting felt this way. According to Dr. Morrison, gender-based assumptions of power imbalance can be compounded by an age gap, as can assumptions of imbalances that may or may not actually exist.
It certainly is for me and Styx: We face complexities that come up in our relationship head-on, via honest conversation and even humor. For Charlie, 27, and their girlfriend Alexa, a trans woman who is 42, though, their age gap has provided some welcome perspective. “I think it gives us complementary perspectives,” Alexa says of their age gap.
Lori, 40, who has been seeing Azzy, 20, for a few months, agrees that communication is key for relationship success in any dynamic, and says she sees age gaps as more of an opportunity than a setback. She describes herself as a “youthful, high-energy person” who has always gotten along well with younger people. “As with any relationship, we all have strengths and weaknesses. Learning to accept help from each other's strong points is important, regardless of age.
That was the case for Emily, 37, and her husband of 14 years, Ben, 56. Emily says her mom “flipped out” when she learned about the relationship and noted that such reactions from folks on the outside of their relationship has been the only real problem their age gap has caused.
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