Recognizing how our parents' traits affect our behavior today can help set us free. Here's how.
People may be influenced by their parents traits by directly repeating their parents’ patterns or by reacting or overreacting to those patterns.
People may recreate the emotional climate of their early environment, which is often an unconscious process.The reasons we act like our parents may not seem like a great mystery. Setting aside our genetic connection, from the moment we open our eyes, we are absorbing our parents’ point of view and entire way of being in the world. This doesn’t doom us to a life of being replicas of the people who raised us.
Many of us wrestle with the messy push and pull of navigating our parents’ traits within ourselves. Often embracing the positives and, with concerted effort, denying the negative ones. These traits are not always explicit and often come from subtle points of view we picked up. The positive traits often resonate with us, and they help guide us in our lives.
This is not to say that our parents meant any harm or intended to influence every aspect of who we are. The point of recognizing how their traits affect our own behavior is not to blame them or get permanently entangled in our past. Rather, it is to help us free ourselves from overlays on our personality that do not reflect genuine aspects of our selves. This process helps us make sense of our actions and reactions and allows us to make sure they align with our personal goals.
The division we may feel within ourselves between who we really are and the echoed “voices” of our history can lead us to act in ways we don’t even like or say things we don’t even mean. We’re most likely to engage in these reactive behaviors in times of
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