Dear Amy: My first wife, “Stacey,” and I married young. She loved me. We had three children together.
I was immature and had little concept of what was required for a successful marriage, although my parents had an almost idyllic one.There were several reconciliations and I spent about a year in analysis. Ultimately I left and married my second wife. She and I have been very happily married for over 30 years.Stacey remarried and after many years in the wilderness we are able to attend family activities and engage in cordial conversation.
Your impulse to apologize, make amends, or work on paying down your Karmic debt is laudable. Despite the fact that your children are advising you to “let things be,” I hope you choose to do this. It is important that you detach completely from any expectations regarding the outcome. If your apology angers her and she responds harshly, then — maybe she needed to do that, and you needed to hear it.We’ve seen each other two to three times a week and have gone on trips together.I support her completely. In the five to six weeks since she stopped drinking, I have seen her only three times, and for only about an hour or so.
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