Plus: A reader disagrees with Amy’s way of dealing with people who call you by the wrong name.
Family relationships within a clan rarely work out to be completely balanced. A cordial and occasional relationship with these in-laws might be best for everyone.: My daughter and son-in-law allow their 17-year-old son to drink alcohol in their home – and not just a sip of wine.
They believe that he will become normalized to drinking and not consider it “forbidden fruit” when he goes away to college.Dear Grandma:Surely these parents don’t imagine that their son will enter the binge-drinking atmosphere of the typical college campus limiting his own excess due to the sophistication he’s acquired by being a social drinker at home.
If these parents drink at home with their son, that’s their business. But if they think doing this will make him less vulnerable to problems with alcohol outside the home, they’re mistaken. There are very few campuses where alcohol is considered “forbidden fruit.” Alcohol use is ritualized and used as a way to integrate into campus life.If you have alcoholism in the family, you should warn, educate, and urge this boy to be aware that alcohol use disorder runs in the family and that he is vulnerable.
A couple of statistics from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism to put in his path: An estimated 1,519 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, including car crashes, and 696,000 students in this age group are assaulted by another student who has been drinking.Yes, your grandson will drink. Most college students do. But he should be made aware of the family history and negative consequences.
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