Advice from Amy Dickinson.
I grew up in the ‘60s in a Midwestern family where we were taught to repress our emotions.My parents were loving but detached, which offered my brother endless opportunities to torment me.But it took many years to overcome the low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence that I partly attribute to my brother’s abuse.
But then again, we’re old, and why should I make a sick person feel worse about his own life? Seems like bad karma. Your brother’s life doesn’t seem to have been particularly easy, while you have successfully overcome the adversity presented by growing up in your household.You say you’ve forgiven your brother, and if so, this should enable you to approach him with compassion. It’s a popular understanding that bullies are sometimes wounded, themselves. And bullying, far from establishing secure control and power, also breaks down the bully’s self-esteem.
Your goal should not be to make your elder brother feel worse about his own life, but to better understand your family’s overall dysfunctional system.Several years ago my then-granddaughter transitioned to a male.I’ve always been the family picture taker.
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