Ask Amy: I don’t want to lose one of my best friends

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Ask Amy: I don’t want to lose one of my best friends
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My current partner does not approve of this situation (to put it lightly), forcing me to keep my contact with Frederica mostly secret.

Dear Amy: I had a brief romance with “Frederica” while on a business trip in 2019. Sadly, we weren’t able to meet again due to COVID restrictions, but we were effectively in a long-distance relationship for about a year.

Neither option sounds appealing. I don’t want to lose one of my best friends, but I hate the deceit, which is mentally exhausting. You and Frederica have a pre-existing friendship. That’s your right. But if you are going to be in a close and intimate relationship with Molly, then you will have to make it clear to her that she is at the center of your universe; Frederica is one of many friends who will be in your orbit. Your secrecy is flipping that script.

When you do notice and remark on changes – little or large – you are quite literally saying, “I see you.”Dear Amy: I am a former university president and my schooling was in clinical psychology.The letters are interesting, and anyone can guess what your solution will be – see a counselor.

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