I don’t know how to respond to this hurtful intrusiveness.
This is all still quite fresh to me. I am often asked, “How did your husband pass away?” and I find that an incredibly intrusive question, even if he hadn’t died from suicide by gun.
If you feel my question and your answer would be of value to your readers, I do hope you will publish it.As a public service announcement, I’m going to remind people not to inquire about a person’s cause of death. In my experience, grieving survivors will often volunteer this information on their own after condolences are offered and they are feeling more comfortable. If this information isn’t offered, don’t ask.
I do know this: There is no universal experience of grief. I wish there was, because then we might come up with a universal answer for it.My sister Rachel Dickinson has written a beautiful and heartbreaking collection of essays about her own experience in grieving her son’s death. Her unique path through grief led her to some of the most remote parts of the globe — not looking for answers, necessarily, but finding her own way through.
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