Dear Readers: Like you, I’m often curious about what happens to the advice I offer once it leaves my desk, and so I’ve asked readers to send in “updates” to let all of us know how my advice was rec…
At the risk of being accused of misandry, let’s state for the record that men undoubtedly also have a laundry list of gender-based frustrations with the women they are meeting.
During my long-ago journey into online matching, I admit to having experiences similar to yours. It seemed that the people I was meeting were sometimes relitigating their previous relationships. I often felt unduly challenged and tested. Honestly, few of these people seemed actually interested in getting to know me at all.
My take is this: Engaging in a peaceful and informative conversation has always been something of a rarity . Being with someone who listens with interest, who seems to “see” you, and who can challenge you without raising your hackles — these are qualities you enjoy in your deep and intimate friendships. This is what you’re looking for, and so your best bet might be to move off-line and to join groups and organizations where you can meet and get to know people gradually, IRL .
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