Parenting expert Sarah Rosensweet shares advice on co-sleeping with older kids and how to help with their anxiety if it's contributing to the habit gentleparenting cosleeping
Struggling with tantrums, bedtime boundaries, or simply wondering how to raise happy, confident kids? Sarah Rosensweet offersHave a question for Sarah? Send us an email at [email protected].
Q: My daughter still has her 12-year-old boy sleeping with her. I have told her this is not normal, and she refuses to listen to me. He will be 13 in August and is a great kid. What can I do? A: I’m sure some folks would disagree with me, but even as a co-sleeping enthusiast, I believe 12 is too old to sleep in the same bed with your parent as a regular thing. A 12-year-old is entering puberty and needs privacy.
I wonder if your grandson is anxious about sleeping alone and your daughter doesn’t know how to support him. If it’s because he’s anxious, he needs support. Anxiety doesn’t usually go away by itself. Ultimately, you can’t do anything about this, as your daughter is in charge. However, if you think she might listen to you, here's how to proceed. Whenever we have to discuss something sensitive with someone, leading with empathy and understanding is a great idea.I would say, “You are a great mom and have done a wonderful job raising your son. At the same time, I wonder if he might be struggling with anxiety, and that’s why he's still sleeping with you.
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