It’s time to change the narrative around motherhood and alcohol.
My sobriety doesn’t define me. I’m a whole lot more than a sober person. I’m a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a writer, a feminist. But sobriety is a thread running throughout all of those other things. It makes me better at all those other things. It’s given me a greater understanding of what it is to be all those other things, and be the best at them I can be.
As with many contemporary cultural trends, the internet has been instrumental in delivering the “Mommy needs wine” mantra to the masses. We’ve all read—and probably laughed at—memes about needing to drink in order to cope as a parent. Most people who post and share this stuff across social media don’t actually need the alcohol. They haven’t dealt with addiction or alcohol abuse issues. They just think they’re being funny and relatable.
So perhaps it’s natural, with the passing of time and our changing society, that “Mommy needs wine” has taken over from “Mother’s Little Helper.” Valium may not be a socially acceptable self-care mechanism anymore, but alcohol certainly seems to be, despite the fact that it’s a highly addictive drug.
But my biggest problem with the Wine Mom culture is that the message can get absorbed by moms who need real, sustainable help and support. Drinking alcohol can worsen the symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to American Addiction Centers. So surely the last thing a woman suffering from anxiety or depression needs is constant encouragement to drink?
“Most of us are not given permission to admit we’re struggling with our lives, our feelings, and our thoughts, and almost none of us are taught any kind of self-regulation skills, such as deep breathing, meditation, etc.,” Campbell says. “If mothers were given permission to admit they’re overwhelmed and struggling, my sense is there would be far less need for wine in the first place.”
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