BREAKING: This Is A Reminder That Your Appointment To Read ‘The Onion’ Is Scheduled For Today

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BREAKING: This Is A Reminder That Your Appointment To Read ‘The Onion’ Is Scheduled For Today
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  • 📰 TheOnion
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  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 14%
  • Publisher: 51%

CHICAGO—Urging you to reply “yes” within the next half hour to confirm, sources issued a late-breaking reminder Monday that your appointment to read The Onion is scheduled for today. “This is a courtesy message reminding you that your appointment with TheOnion.com is today at 2 p.m.,” read the statement, which also…

CHICAGO—Urging you to reply “yes” within the next half hour to confirm, sources issued a late-breaking reminder Monday that your appointment to readis scheduled for today. “This is a courtesy message reminding you that your appointment with TheOnion.com is today at 2 p.m.

,” read the statement, which also reminded you that you were no longer within the 30-day grace period that would allow you to cancel without triggering a $50 rebooking fee, as per the terms and conditions you had reportedly signed. “We will hold your appointment for up to 10 minutes after the scheduled time; otherwise, the slot will be given to another reader interested in perusing TheOnion.com’s daily newsletter in your inbox. Please have your ID in hand before clicking the link. Thank you.

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