Building (Real) Friendships in the Age of Snapchat and Instagram

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Building (Real) Friendships in the Age of Snapchat and Instagram
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Middle schoolers are sensitive to anything they perceive as criticism. They are looking to conform and fit in, so drawing their attention to what they’re doing wrong—and standing out in a negative way—won’t be welcomed.

Middle school is a tricky time for students with attention deficit disorder , given the increased workload and multiple classes and projects. But perhaps the hardest challenge is navigating the social landscape of adolescence.

Because of surging hormones, heightened emotions, increased self-consciousness, and a natural drive for more independence, the pressure can be intense, and it comes at a time when social status suddenly matters. Rumors, gossip, and/or bullying are pervasive. Friendships are tested as social circles shift.

Most middle schoolers are glued to their phones and other devices, so why not use them to convey social lessons? In an interview for my podcast, Devorah Heitner, Ph.D., author of. said, “If you have a kid who has a hard time figuring out the unspoken social rules in verbal communication, she may do better with digital communication.”

In helping our kids become smart social media engagers, we can teach them a lot about how to respectfully communicate, understand how messages might be misinterpreted, and more. My 14-year-old son Asher has learned how to negotiate and played over Skype. If your child’s class has a WhatsApp group, talk about what’s going on there: How are classmates treating each other? What kinds of social problems are cropping up and why?Popular apps, like Instagram and Snapchat, offer lots of opportunities for kids to consider social rules and etiquette. The possibilities are endless. Though the landscape is virtual, the experiences and emotions are real, and so are the lessons that can be learned.

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