Bullshit Antique China Doesn’t Even Say If It Microwave Safe

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Bullshit Antique China Doesn’t Even Say If It Microwave Safe
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LONDONDERRY, NH—Leaving its hungry owner completely in the lurch, a piece of bullshit antique china didn’t even say if it was microwave safe, sources confirmed Wednesday. “What the fuck? Will this old-ass piece of shit break in the microwave or not?” said antique china set owner Alex Carson, adding that he didn’t want…

LONDONDERRY, NH—Leaving its hungry owner completely in the lurch, a piece of bullshit antique china didn’t even say if it was microwave safe, sources confirmed Wednesday.

“What the fuck? Will this old-ass piece of shit break in the microwave or not?” said antique china set owner Alex Carson, adding that he didn’t want to move the mac and cheese leftovers into another bowl and get it dirty unless he absolutely had to, but the “piece of fucking garbage” Grandma made him take didn’t clarify whether it could be put in the microwave. “I looked all over this thing and there’s just nothing, I’m totally in the dark here.

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