'I do not need anthropomorphized characters to convince me to consume garbage. I can do that all on my own.' onesarahjones writes on the new woke M&M’s
Mmm, candy. Photo: John Greim/LightRocket via Getty Images If you are deeply invested in M&M’s, the Mars company behind the candy has bewildering news for you: The M&M’s characters are getting a woke makeover. Yes, that’s right — no one is safe from the demands of cancel culture. “The redesign is focused on creating a sense of belonging and community, as well as spotlighting the characters’ ‘personalities, rather than their gender,’” CBS News reported on Thursday.
What might that possibly look like? Well, the green M&M is getting a bit less sexy. Gone are the white go-go boots for which she is known. She will be “better represented to reflect confidence and empowerment, as a strong female, and known for much more than her boots.” At last: true equality. As a journalist, and as a woman, I have a few questions about this news. Join me on a journey of discovery.Remember, they are candy. Or “lentils,” as Mars apparently calls them — that’s another thing I learned from CBS today. Does Mars think people won’t eat chocolate unless the company genders it? That I will pass up the bag in the vending machine if there aren’t any girl M&M’s? Mars, you have vastly underestimated my commitment to junk food.
I am too old to speak on behalf of Gen Z. Today, I even wore skinny jeans. But I can speak on behalf of people with anxiety disorders, and let me tell you: Representation is overrated. I don’t think I even knew Mars had an orange-M&M character, let alone that he required therapeutic intervention.
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