WASHINGTON—Recognizing the need for funds to repair numerous damages after a night of drinking, Congress passed a $55 billion infrastructure bill Friday to fill the holes their angry boyfriend punched in the nation. “We’re enacting this legislation to patch up the thousands of miles of roads and bridges our boyfriend…
WASHINGTON—Recognizing the need for funds to repair numerous damages after a night of drinking, Congress passed a $55 billion infrastructure bill Friday to fill the holes their angry boyfriend punched in the nation. “We’re enacting this legislation to patch up the thousands of miles of roads and bridges our boyfriend put his fist through last night after drinking a six-pack of beer, getting into an argument with us, and becoming upset,” said Sen.
“Continue to expect power outages in all 50 states and closures on most interstate highways, especially I-95 in Virginia, North Carolina, and South Carolina, where we already have teams working to clear the debris from the rage Justin went into after he found out we had drinks with our ex. What he did to Mount Rushmore is truly unfortunate, but smashing in Teddy Roosevelt’s face is most likely what broke his hand and finally made him stop and then pass out.
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