Dear Abby: How honest should I be with my married pickleball partner?

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Dear Abby: How honest should I be with my married pickleball partner?
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I love playing with her, and I don’t want to stop.

What if you tell this woman you have a crush on her and she responds by telling you she also has a crush on you? Where would that lead? She’s married.

Clearly, there is a mutual attraction, and it isn’t based on how well you play the game of pickleball. Maybe you are easy to be around, or she likes your sense of humor. Your crush may or may not fade with time. Because you enjoy the contact you have with her, continue being her partner unless it progresses to something that makes either of you uncomfortable. I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 20 years. We are not married. For three-fourths of this relationship, I have been the one who pays for everything . He refuses to look for a job.

When I told him a few years back that I wasn’t happy, his only reaction before leaving the room was to ask, “Do you love me?”We had talked about moving, because I received an inheritance. Now it’s as if his ideas for a home are more important than mine, plus I’m still expected to pay for it all.I feel guilty. I know I have let it happen and have tolerated it, but if I say anything, he acts like a 5-year-old having a tantrum. He’s very negative and mocks anything I try to do to improve myself.

Warning: You may need to consult an attorney so you know your options, because his tantrums, rather than being a sign of love, appear to be an attempt to bully you into letting him continue to take advantage.

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