DEAR ABBY: Our house burned down a year ago, and we lost everything. My husband, “Jeff,” tried desperately to get to our 2-year-old daughter, but she perished in the fire. I managed to get our 3-year-old son out while he was trying to save our daughter. Jeff ended up in a burn unit on a ventilator for nine days because he burned his lungs. When he was released from the hospital, things got worse.
We lived with my mom and stepdad for a bit until we found a place, but as soon as Jeff got home, he started hitting me and calling me a cheating slut. We have been together 20 years, and I have been faithful. If I go to the store or to run errands, he gets mad at me for being gone a little too long. If I try to explain what held me up, it’s automatically because I’m cheating, but Jeff feels he can leave and be gone for hours, and it’s okay for him.
DEAR SO LOST: The fire and tragic death of your daughter has done more damage to your husband than sear his lungs. It has also taken an emotional toll. It is important that you no longer allow him to take out his anger and frustration with himself on you. Have an escape plan in place before you confront him. A safe way to formulate one would be to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The toll-free number is 800-799-7233 and the website isDEAR ABBY: My high school friend returns to our hometown once or twice a year. Her last several visits were exhausting. She talked about herself for hours without asking one question about my life. She objectifies men and calls people weak for expressing their emotions.
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