Dear Care and Feeding: How Can I Stop My Mom From Inviting My Best Friend’s Abusive Mother to My Baby Shower?

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Dear Care and Feeding: How Can I Stop My Mom From Inviting My Best Friend’s Abusive Mother to My Baby Shower?
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My best friend cut off all communication with her mom. This baby shower will be a guaranteed disaster.

My fiancé and I live with his family, and it will be at least a few months before we are able to move out. He and his mother have had a volatile relationship since he was a child. I would consider it emotionally abusive. She constantly berates and questions him over small things like the length of his hair and the fact that our dog sleeps in the bed.

He has a much better relationship with his father, but it disappoints me that he can’t or won’t do more to stop her from doing damage to her children. She’s the cruelest to her oldest son, but these habits of hers negatively affect her other two sons too. I know he can’t control her, but I feel he should do more to stand up for him or counter what she does.

And that’s OK. It’s a bad relationship. It’s possible that space and time will improve things, but right now you have an Actively Shitty future mother-in-law and an Actively Enabling future father-in-law, and these simply may not be people who can be part of your future together.

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