Dear Care and Feeding: Our Daughter Lied to Us and Went to a Pro-Life Rally

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Dear Care and Feeding: Our Daughter Lied to Us and Went to a Pro-Life Rally
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This is the girl who dressed up as Ruth Bader Ginsburg for Halloween when she was 10.

Yesterday, my 17-year-old daughter, a junior in high school, told us she was going to her boyfriend’s house. It turns out she lied., and she replied, “I can’t wait. So many innocent lives will be spared.” We got into an argument in which she ended up confessing her actual whereabouts—she went to a “pro-life” rally with her boyfriend.

We’ve grounded her and taken away her phone for going behind our backs, but she’s showing no remorse. I just can’t believe it. She’s heading to law school in a couple years. I seriously thought she was pro-choice and a feminist. I’ve been taking her to rallies and protests since she was a baby. We’ve been educating her about safe sex and consent. We donate to Planned Parenthood every year for Christmas. I’m fine with her disagreeing with us on other topics, but I had an abortion years ago.

And I’m furious at her for going behind our backs. I’m suspicious of her boyfriend—I know he’s a conservative-leaning Christian and I don’t want to have raised a daughter who votes for whomever her boyfriend does. How do I convince her being pro-life isn’t helping her in the long run?Subscribe to Slate’s Parenting newsletter, featuring the best of Care and Feeding, Mom and Dad Are Fighting, and Slate’s family coverage.Send me updates about Slate special offers.

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