TikTok users are opening up about past relationships they've come to see as age inappropriate.
“A specific factor to consider is a power imbalance,” Huntley. “This can occur when one person, due to their position in life, finances, or status, has undue power to control and influence the other person.” She also noted that patterns are important. “If someone has a history of consistently dating up against the age of consent, and if their partners have little in common besides that age, then there may be more to look into.
Elizabeth’*s take on the TikTok trend details a relationship that began when she was 17 and a man in his late twenties pursued her. Elizabeth cries while describing what the song means to her, calling it “a song I can scream, that I can belt out, that can put my feelings and experience into words.” She hopes the tide is changing and that grooming and age-inappropriate relationships are being revealed for what they truly are, because when it happened to her, she was the subject of scorn.
In the comments, people express solidarity and share their own experiences with age-gap relationships as teenagers. Some comments on these kinds of TikToks are succinct: “15. 28.” and some are lengthier, expressing gratitude to creators for sharing their stories. Other comments wonder where the creator’s parents were, pushing the blame onto someone other than the older person in the relationship.
Elizabeth can understand that — she used to wonder what took her so long to leave the relationship, too, before she realized that it wasn’t her fault she ended up stuck in it in the first place. But now, she says she sees it differently. “I spent so long being ashamed and not talking about it,” she said. “It’s overwhelming to know that I’m not alone and it happens to people and it’s not my fault.
And even people who haven’t taken part in the TikTok trend have been comforted by listening to the song itself — one woman said Lovato’s lyric “17 would never cross my mind” was illuminating. “Now that I’m his age, I know I would never look at a teenager.”
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