WINNETKA, IL—Disappointed that the object was not the intriguing plaything he had initially perceived it to be, local 8-month-old child Josiah O’Connell reportedly removed the plastic bag from his head Wednesday after reading, “Warning: Not A Children’s Toy.” “Aw, fuck, well that’s a shame—I was really looking forward…
WINNETKA, IL—Disappointed that the object was not the intriguing plaything he had initially perceived it to be, local 8-month-old child Josiah O’Connell reportedly removed the plastic bag from“Aw, fuck, well that’s a shame—I was really looking forward to it,that although everything he could see, touch, and taste about the bag suggested it would make for a delightfully entertaining
pastime, it would be quite irresponsible to proceed. “‘Keep out of reach from children to avoid suffocation.’ That’s probably there for a good reason. This is just like the rat poison situation all over again. Well, what a bummer. Still,crinkle—but no, no, I really shouldn’t. Then again, no one’s around.” At press time, O’Connell concluded that a few more seconds with the bag on his
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