All of us have encountered people who were mean, rude, or downright nasty toward us for no good reason. Whether it's a critical boss, a driver who cut you off, or an insensitive family member, here's how to keep others from ruining your day:
“You’re going in through the exit, idiot.” These seven words from a stranger were enough to ruin the rest of the day for John. He’d just enjoyed a lovely week at the beach with his family and had stopped at a department store on the last morning of their vacation. John was in a great mood just before this incident, and then wound up fuming for the entire 6-hour car ride home, unable to let it go.
You may also need to accept that the score won’t be even, despite our strong desire for revenge. I was once honked at on my bike by a passing motorist for no apparent reason as I rode to work. In my anger I chased down the car at the next traffic light, only to realize I had no recourse once I got there -- no horn to blast them with and no desire for a face-to-face confrontation. I had no choice but to accept the unfairness and minor humiliation, and continue on my way.
Rather than fighting what the mind is doing, shift your perspective. No matter what we’re thinking or feeling, take a half-step back and observe it. Notice what an interesting experience you’re having -- the physical sensations in your body, the effects on your breathing, the thoughts and fantasies going through your mind. Watch the anger and rumination, rather than completely identifying with them.
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