'I’m married to a man, but I still long for recognition in the LGBTQ+ community.'
“Are you making new friends at daycare?” I asked my daughter Mia, looking down at the milk I was pouring. “Like… Riley?” I paused and pretended to study the milk carton casually, as if it didn’t matter either way.
It didn’t really bother me at first, but as time’s passed, it’s started to wear on me that I don’t feel like I can fully be myself around other parents. Straight parents assume I’m straight, and queer parents assume I’m…also straight. I started to feel like a fraud; it became exhausting. But LGBTQ+ parents are a rare sighting for me. One time, I met a dad walking in the neighborhood with his toddler, who introduced himself, saying, “I’m gay!” I was extremely excited, until I realized he had said, “I’m Gabe.” Then, there were the two moms who had an older kid at our daycare, and a couple at a friend’s pool party, but there was never a way for me to communicate my queerness to them. I was left once again to feel like an outsider.
A week later, I stood outside Riley’s door, clicking my phone on and off in my pocket as Mia held my other hand. But as soon as the old wooden door swung open, my nerves faded. Sure, I had never met Anna before, but we had a common language, even if she didn’t know it yet. She flashed a big grin at me as Riley slipped around the side of her legs, pulling Mia in. “Come in!” Anna exclaimed to me, as the girls ran to Riley’s bedroom, giggling.
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