'How long to stick with a joke? If it’s truly original and funny to you and/or especially personal, you should keep working on it until you figure it out. A more pedestrian joke? Give it three tries. My favorite joke took 19 years to solve.'
Illustration: Jason Ford This whole idea was coffee induced. On December 31, 2018, I was sitting with my first cup of the day — Michael Pollan wrote that we enjoy that first coffee so much because it relieves our caffeine withdrawal, so I was on a high from that — and I said to my wife, Sadé, “What do you think people would do if I offered a comedy tip every day next year?” and she said, “I think they would love it.” Her response was all I needed, so I tweeted out that I was going to do it.
There was one comedian who said, “Why are you giving this away?” Well, I didn’t give away anything that I didn’t get from somebody or somewhere else. These aren’t secrets, and a lot of these things shouldn’t have taken me as long to figure out as they did. Other people said I should put the tips out as a book, but I thought it was tacky to sell people something that you’d given them for free. I didn’t want to sully it with commerce, but I also wanted them to be in one place.
Tip No. 2: Write out a favorite joke word-for-word one sentence at a time. After completing each sentence, analyze each word. Why does it work? How do the syllables of the words create rhythm? How do the sentences build to the punchline? What’s the grammar of comedy? You can do [Tip No. 2] at any stage, but probably it’s best early on in your career. If it sounds daunting to write out entire jokes, you should know that the immortal Hunter S.
Tip No. 6: Words with the sound “buh,” “puh,” and “kuh,” especially at the beginning/end are funnier. No one knows why. “Buick” is funnier than “Nissan.” I learned this early. I assumed everyone knew. They don’t. Take some soft punch-words and replace them with a b/p/k sound. Tip No. 67: You should try to adhere to George Orwell’s first rule for effective writing: “Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.” Take the time to create your own. It’s part of the job.
Gary’s recommendations. Photo: Amazon Tip No. 269: I usually start a joke by trying to write a funny or interesting sentence. It takes away the intimidation of writing an entire joke. Just play around with a few versions of your sentence and maybe say them out loud to get the feel for which is best.
Gary's Favorites Tip No. 45: Don’t Hoard Jokes Don’t worry about “burning” material on a special or album. Hoarding jokes may signal to your brain that you’re out of ideas. “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou. Gary's Favorites Tip No. 90: After a Good Set, Brainstorm You just had a great set. Instead of celebrating, use that hour or so after when the synapses are still firing and your confidence is soaring to voice record or write down the ideas that pop up during that especially fertile creative time.
Tip No. 143: Listen to strangers’ conversations. I got “How Dottie is that?” when a supercilious woman named Jodi bragged “How Jodi is that?” “So Jodi,” her friend replied. Tip No. 285: Xplore unusual angles in a joke. Xample: Xamine things from the POV of a child or an Xpert. My man Jimmy P and I still laugh over his “Martian response to high school football practice: Why are the hard-heads taking orders from the small soft-heads ?”
Tip No. 311: Some of your best ideas will come to you in the shower. There’s science behind why it happens. Get a shower notepad if you have trouble remembering your ideas. Don’t listen to music. Listen to your thoughts. Ruminate on tonight’s set or a new joke. Tip No. 340: Volunteer! Especially if you don’t have a day job. There are so many opportunities to help. You will do good and have something new to write about. In NYC we have New York Cares. One year we decorated an elementary school for Halloween.
Tip No. 38: Want to stand out? Avoid hacky topics. You know what they are. Unless you’re Pryor, I don’t have time for your angle. “But @_______ said, ‘There’s no hacky premise! It’s what you blah blah blah.’” I disagree. No one’s ever been accused of being too original. Tip No. 52: You have a new joke. It seems too easy. Go online and type in some of the joke and see if someone has said something similar anywhere. Ask your comedy-obsessed friends if they have heard anyone do a similar bit.
Tip No. 156: If someone admonishes you by saying “No one has ever done that,” you’re on the right track. Keep going. Tip No. 210: Early on, those esoteric jokes that a handful of “weirdos” laugh uncontrollably at and the rest of the audience stares at you? Over the years, there will be thousands of these “weirdos” who will thank you for being “odd” by showing up to see you live again and again.
Tip No. 233: When I started in 1993, there were probably 50 New England comics doing the “gay voice,” another 25 doing “Indian voice.” If you don’t want to stop doing these voices because they’re bigoted, stop because it makes you a HACK! Tip No. 278: I remember in an interview Brian Regan said he tried to write away from the areas he became known for. I think that’s one of the secrets to staying fresh and maintaining a high level of creativity. #ReganTip?
Gary’s thoughts on Tip No. 16: This one can guide every decision and choice you make regarding your jokes, your act, and behavior on and off stage. Tip No. 228: Assuming a persona/character onstage? Once again, Kurt Vonnegut says it perfectly: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be very careful what we pretend to be.” — Mother Night.
8a) “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” — Saint John Wooden, UCLA basketball coach, philosopher, humanitarian. “It’s okay to fail! Fail a lot!!! But don’t fail because you were being lazy.” — Me Tip No. 23: Timing. Some say it’s “essential,” others “useless.” You can get by with lousy timing, but you can soar with great timing. It can take thousands of shows to figure it out. Experiment every show to see what works best. Someday you’ll just feel it.
Tip No. 81: On “f—”: Use or don’t. I don’t care. If you use “f—in’” as the penultimate word in a joke, try it without once to see if it works. On a show with other comics, limit F’s so it still has impact when they use it. If you’re opening for someone, ask if it’s okay. Photo: Gary Gulman/Twitter Tip No. 89: Your friend has brought you to open for them this weekend. If you are not trying out some new jokes in that prime spot, you are a fool. Don’t overindulge, but take advantage of the weekend crowd to expand your act.
Tip No. 107: Use the time on the way to the show to go over your set, especially new jokes. Figure out what you want to open/close with. I love my 45-minute subway to the Comedy Cellar for this. You can do it while driving. If driving with a comic, discuss together. Tip No. 151: A joke’s position in a set may affect its success. Something really personal may need to go later after the audience knows you better. A five-minute set may not give you enough time. If a bit you like doesn’t work, adjust where you deploy it.
Tip No. 263: Vary your vocal intonation. Especially over a one-hour plus set, an audience can lose its steam if the material is delivered without much variety. Of course, you can ignore this if you answer yes to the following question: Am I Steven Wright? Photo: Gary Gulman/Twitter Tip No. 289: When you’re on a showcase, watch the person right before you at least. You can ruin your whole set if you repeat their attitude or pace or content. Audiences won’t laugh at you if they just saw you. Consider it part of your preparation.
Tip No. 9: Cannibalize your act. Go through your joke inventory and relocate some jokes or pieces of jokes. Add them to jokes that are working to add some density to your act. You just need to take some time to find a connection. Tip No. 49: Specific is usually funnier than general terms or words. Go through your set today and find where you were general and change to a specific. There will be cases where general is still funnier. Use good judgement.
Tip No. 58: The most common advice I give new comedians is to “make it sound more conversational.” I’m not entirely certain how to go about that other than to make it a goal to sound less scripted. Yet another instance where listening to your set is helpful. Tip No. 87: Here’s a helpful organizing tip for notebook users. I can keep a premise together by adding ideas to the Post-it and sticking it to the original page.
Tip No. 119: Today, try and add some laugh lines to the setups of some of your jokes. This will be fun, add denseness to your jokes, and put some new energy in old jokes. Try and work them in tonight during your show. Photo: Gary Gulman/Twitter Tip No. 139: I’ve found adding some silliness or absurdism very rewarding over the years. It’s fun to experiment with and often adds life to a joke in need of it. Also, it attracts a really cool audience. This weekend, try adding some silliness to your jokes.
153B) Example: Re: Jewish people: “We can be a rather cautious group, which is understandable. We’ve been in a couple of pickles over the years.” Tip No. 252: Some nights you may realize you don’t have as much material as you thought. Don’t panic! It’s great news if it motivates you to write. I always start by trying to expand on what already works. Then take your joke fragments and premises and hammer away.
Tip No. 14: Best insight I ever got came two shows in: Nearly all of your work will come from other comedians. Be a good co-worker. Don’t run the light. Be original. Be supportive. Write a lot! Be kind! Tip No. 104: Hang out! Early on in your career, if you’re not on the show you can sometimes get a spot if someone is late or a no-show and you ask nicely. You also get to watch comedy and make friends and build comfort. If you don’t get on, go home and write.
Tip No. 168: Sometimes we need to vent. Pointing out the King’s nudity is human nature, but make sure to balance your karma by lauding people who inspire like Todd Glass, Mike Birbiglia, Phoebe Robinson, Judah Friedlander, Emmy Blotnick, Ramy Youssef, Robert Kelly, Naomi Ekperigin, etc. Tip No. 230: Make a new comedy friend this weekend. Tell someone whose act you admire that you admire their act. Maybe don’t use the word “admire.” This probably will not work with celebrities or jerks and certainly will not work with celebrity jerks.
Tip No. 274: Early on, I used to ask older comics to watch my set. They would give tips or tags or encouragement. It was invaluable. I still sometimes ask a friend to watch if I’m working on new jokes.
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