'The Christian counselor's idea was that I was gay because my relationship with my dad was inadequate and because I hadn't been affirmed in my masculinity when I was younger.'
Note: Some of these submissions are from this"I went to a gay conversion camp at 17 years old. On arrival, we were given extensive forms to fill out. Questions about our hobbies, likes, dislikes, and all that kind of stuff. I thought that 'least favorite smell' was an interesting question on the form. On the second or third day in I was given some, in hindsight, incredibly laughable gay erotica and was allowed to return to my room.
"This all happened as I was turning 14 and continued 'til 18 when I could refuse to attend. It sure didn't turn me straight, but it did give me some internalized homophobia, too. Basically, I just hate myself, other people can do what they'd like, and I don't really mind. I just never got to grow up and develop sexually, never got to experience my teenage years without being berated, and I'm going on 12 years of depression now because of it.
"He wanted me to do more 'manly' things and get closer to my dad. My relationship with my dad was fine and I didn't have any interest in sports, so I didn't follow his advice. The counselor asked me what I liked about men. I said I wanted to be held. He said, well why don't you find an athletic, assertive girl? A well-muscled one. That will do the trick. I was skeptical then and it is laughable now how little he understood what gay people want.
I'm just, just starting to heal now. I started therapy a few months ago. I finally came clean with my therapist about being transgender, which gave me the courage to reach out to my old high school girlfriend from earlier in the story , and finally to come out to my ex-wife. These people that I never trusted? Yeah, they immediately expressed support. Even my ex-wife. Total, uncompromising support.
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