Give Me a Milo Sparks Spinoff, Cowards

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Give Me a Milo Sparks Spinoff, Cowards
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Give us more of this spooky gossip child immediately

Tell me you wouldn’t trust this child with a revenge plot. Photo: HBO Max Spoilers for episode four of Gossip Girl ahead. XOXO

In the most recent episode of HBO Max’s Gossip Girl, we are introduced to resident precocious kid, Milo Sparks. He shows up unannounced on the steps of the Met with a teacup in hand like some kind of infant Mad Hatter. When Zoya greets him accordingly — “No, thank you, strange child” — he responds in kind: “I’m Milo, and I’m not a child.”

So, who is this spooky child in Gossip Girl? Like he said, he’s Milo Sparks, though his last name is actually Ivanov. “But in this day and age,” he adds, “it’s best to leave that out.” Milo is the son of OG Gossip Girl’s Georgina Sparks, Serena Van der Woodsen’s brash, horny, long-lost friend played by Michelle Trachtenberg. If you need a refresher, her character is known for shenanigans like selling her pony for cocaine and saying lines like, “You can tell Jesus that the bitch is back.

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