Introducing the Gossip Girl Report Card, jessicagolds's totally accurate, absolutely scientific evaluation of each episode of the HBO Max reboot
Photo: Karolina Wojtasik/HBO Max Have you heard? The prettiest little one-percenters you ever did see have gathered again on the Met steps. Gossip Girl is back in session and somebody needs to keep these entitled, beautiful brats in line. Supposedly this will be @GossipGirl’s job, but I can’t just leave her to it. I bring my power-ranking expertise and the many, many hours I devoted in my youth to watching the original Gossip Girl to bear on this vital project: The Gossip Girl Report Card.
Monet and Luna: Lackeys One and Two start the episode mostly as support staff — staging Julien’s Insta Stories, getting that teacher fired — however, when push comes to dick pic, they are ones who have a clear goal, set their scheme into motion, achieve their desired outcome. Do I support their efforts on the merits? No, but I can’t argue with the results! I also love Luna’s commitment to the bit of “I can’t see freshmen.
Zoya: I can forgive a lot of her foolishness in this episode because she is supposed to be 14 years old, and she’s the outsider coming into town, and she’s so excited to finally have a relationship with her big half-sister, so I guess I believe she would willingly participate in staged meet-cutes and arguments and such in outfits she did not pick out for herself.
Yeti: Product placement? So tacky. That said, Yetis are actually great and it’s weird that Tavi hasn’t yet invested in one for her commute. C+ Julien: I know she’s supposed to be the queen bee around here, but so far I’m finding her scheming and strategy a little underwhelming — not to mention a little tonally inconsistent with the character she’s supposed to be.
Extremely implausible and therefore boring couples: Amazing how such beautiful people can have zero sexual chemistry! Not a ONE of these matches — pouty Audrey and super-serious Aki; influencer Julien and guilty-rich do-gooder Obie — make any sense, and I understand they are really just placeholder relationships whose sole purpose is to blow up spectacularly as the season goes on, but why should I care if these kids break up if I don’t really buy that they would ever be together in the first...
México Últimas Noticias, México Titulares
Similar News:También puedes leer noticias similares a ésta que hemos recopilado de otras fuentes de noticias.
Casual Celebrity Cameos on the OG 'Gossip Girl' You Totally Forgot AboutKarlie Kloss, Rachel Bilson, Lady Gaga and more played themselves on episodes of The CW’s ‘Gossip Girl’ – read more
Leer más »
The 'Gossip Girl' Reboot Proves, Even In 2021, Anyone Can Play A High SchoolerIn the glitzy HBO Max reboot, a 25-year-old plays a teacher. A 27-year-old plays a student. Even in 2021, age is just a number. Here's what we know about the 'Gossip Girl' cast's ages.
Leer más »
A Gossip Girl Reboot Guide to New York CityWhere are the Constance Billard cool kids going these days? Vogue fastidiously watched Gossip Girl to catch all the New York City references.
Leer más »
‘Gossip Girl’ 2021 Reboot Review: A New Generation of Teen GlitteratiReview: The 'Gossip Girl' sequel keeps Kristen Bell as narrator but replaces the rest of its original whitewashed, cisgender characters with a more diverse crew of Upper East Side elites
Leer más »
Tavi Gevinson Was The Teen Blogger of Her Generation and Now She's Gossip Girl - E! OnlineAs a teen, Tavi Gevinson ruffled feathers with her presence at the biggest runway shows, and now she's causing a different kind of drama on HBO Max's Gossip Girl.
Leer más »
Why the Cast of the New Gossip Girl Looks So Familiar - E! OnlineWondering where you've seen the new Gossip Girl cast before? You're not alone, here's everything you need to know about the stars.
Leer más »