'I so wanted to cling to this idea of myself as a chill, spontaneous girl, and there was no way she would have a problem with this. I marched up that ladder, and slid myself onto the air mattress.'
Photo: J.V. Aranda Welcome to It’s Complicated, stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships.
But even at a young age, all evidence suggested that I was not the chill girl I imagined. I like making plans, and confirming plans, and sticking to plans. I hate surprises. I’m not the type of woman who can be flippant about where her next meal is coming from — I am literally always hungry, and I’m not here to play around with how I’m going to be fed.
I first spotted Tim on OKCupid, and was immediately taken with him. His profile read like the character description of “The Man I’d Spend Forever With” in the eventual biopic of my life, complete with the beard, the dark hair, the light eyes, and the tattoos. After sending a few messages back and forth, Tim and I decided to meet at a fancy cocktail bar in the East Village. “They have a great bourbon selection,” he told me over text.
Soon, I started visiting Tim at the distillery in Brooklyn. He’d pour me free whiskey, we’d share cigarettes, we’d order pizza, and then we’d sneak upstairs and make out in the tasting room. When I asked him about his living situation, he told me he lived in Greenpoint with two other guys. Eventually, he invited me over to his apartment for a party his neighbor was throwing.
He unfolded it, positioned it in front of the bathroom door, and then climbed it. At the top was a small door to a crawl space, the kind that’s usually used for storage. But when Tim opened it up and flicked on the light, there was a queen-size air mattress.I had no words. Was he serious? Through my whiskey haze, the reality of the situation quickly dawned on me. This is what the life of a transient hipster-dude looked like. It wasn’t sexy or romantic.
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