RHOSL star Heather Gay holds nothing back in her new memoir about her upbringing.
has been for me since the beginning -- just so much energy and excitement and adrenaline. I can't believe it's really here. Yes, I think the most difficult thing was trying to honor the childhood I loved and found so idyllic. [I had to explain] how something that shaped my entire identity and informed every choice became really toxic to me and prevented me from living an authentic life and being the mother I wanted to be for my kids. That was the hardest part.
Well, every single part of me because that's how I was raised and that's what informed every single choice made in my life and that's why I didn't call the book"Ex Mormon" because it never leaves you. Do I affiliate with or believe in any of the principles of the church? No. I think that it's problematic and bigoted and homophobic and misogynistic.Wow. I mean I used to believe that everything was divinely inspired by God.
Well, there are penalties of the oaths that we make, but they've softened them over the years so I never had to make the actual disembowel. I did have to do hand signs that gestured if I was disemboweled I'd be able to carry my own bowels out of the temple so I mean, I see the progression of that ethos. But my father, those are the things that he said in the temple Outer darkness, baby. Outer darkness with no way back, Jeffrey Dahmer is on a higher level of heaven than me.
Which speaks to you opening up about your divorce. And I mean, three days into marriage you already do not want to be in that marriage. But you both have made this internal decision because you're in the church, you're presenting their facade to the world, you're sticking with it. You have three daughters, and then push comes to shove, he serves you with divorce papers, which you describe as the darkest moment in your life.
Going back to the book, there's this one mention of your parents bringing up your weight as a child. Knowing that you have been body shamed in the public eye, how do you wrap your head around your relationship with your body and your self-worth when everyone's weighing in from that young of an age? This book is my narrative and my story. I don't feel the need to explain, or offer excuses. I am messy, I am figuring out who I am, I am doing it on television, and that's either something you're going to tune into or tune out.
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