DearPrudie: She got angry and told me I didn’t understand because I wasn’t home all day as they were.
I think this comes down to the two of you thinking about his medications in different ways. You see them as tools that help him to be his real, delightful self. He sees them as drugs that turn him into a different person and make him feel bad. Since he’s the one who’s taking them, his point of view has a little more weight. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to deal with him flaking out on his responsibilities and snapping at you.
But the conversation you’re having shouldn’t be about whether they “can” use these bathrooms. It’s about when and how they should. I think a middle school student is old enough to think beyond what’s allowed and not allowed, and consider the kind of friend and classmate they want to be, and the impact they want to have on the people around them. Encourage your stepchild to put themself in the shoes of a kid who only feels comfortable using an “all gender” bathroom.
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