If left unacknowledged and unaddressed, shame can follow us through life, sabotaging our relationships. Here's how.
Shame can be imprinted implicitly in the first months and years of life. The left brain stores and consciously recalls memories with words and logic. However, before the left brain sufficiently develops , theWhat is imprinted is not a logical conclusion that can be described in words. It is more of a felt sense—a sense of “wrongness” that plays out in the body and emotions, not words and logic.
Shame is secretive, It goes underground, hiding in the shadows. We tend to block it from awareness because it is painful, but it continues to influence our present lives.By around age three, the left brain is sufficiently developed so that it can consciously process memories with words and reason. Thus, shaming experiences in the later years of can be stored in the left brain.
Growing up with a ruthlessly critical father who treated him like garbage, a successful accountant felt that he was garbage. He spent his adult life frenetically and joylessly trying to prove his worth throughachievements. His efforts didn’t work because they failed to address his deep hidden wounds. Feeling that he had to hide his imperfections from others kept him from letting people really get to know him.
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