'I was 28 years old, thinking I’d be married soon, and now? I felt alone'
We met in university. Became friends. Eventually started dating and fell in love. We were each other’s best friend. He was my first text in the morning, and my last before bed. When we entered the working world, we got first dibs on each other’s vacation time. We took trips everywhere from New York City to Honolulu, sharing memories scattered around the world. It was six years of bliss.I’m not quite sure when the cracks started to appear. But they were there.
In the first couple weeks after my breakup, I paid off the rest of my student loans and credit card debt, went to the bank and came up with an aggressive savings and investment plan that best suited me and my financial goals. Y’all, the relief, coupled with how proud I felt, was huge. I was euphoric.
There is no correct timeline for all of this. You will know when it’s time to get back out there. In the meantime, replace When is it going to be my turn? with What do I want my life to look like when it is my turn? If you haven’t truthfully dealt with how you’re feeling and worked hard to make improvements where possible, believe me, entering into a relationship, let alone marriage, is the last thing you should be doing.
Say “yes” to change If you’re dealing with a breakup, I don’t need to tell you that your life is transforming. Everything is in flux right now; from your larger life plans all the way down to your daily routines. Like now I only have to buy one bag of kettle corn, instead of two, when I go to the grocery store. OK, maybe I still buy two, but now I don’t have to share . The goal is to stop feeling like you’re at the mercy of the changing landscape of your life, and to take charge of it.
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