Feeling stressed and overwhelmed? It’s probably taking a toll on your relationship. Here’s what to watch out for.
Researchers Neff and Buck from the University of Texas, Austin, and Eckerd College analyzed data from 78 newlywed couples. The couples were primarily White, followed by Latinx and Asian American. On average, these couples were in their mid-to-late twenties. The respondents were all in first marriages, which had begun no more than six months before the study, and had no children.
Participants reported their external stressors . They also completed daily surveys tracking their own and their spouse’s positive and negative behaviors over 10 days. The daily surveys were returned by mail to the researchers. The researchers found some disconcerting results. Although these couples were generally happy and satisfied with their relationships, pairs that experienced significant external stressors became more sensitized to their partner’s negative behaviors and tended to report their partner’s negative behaviors more accurately.
The corresponding sensitivity to noticing positive behaviors did not occur in these couples that experienced external stressors. Moreover, daily hassles, such as a car breaking down, did not cause the same sensitivity to negative behaviors by one’s partner. Rather, more serious negative life experiences caused a shift in their attentional focus.
According to the authors, happy newlyweds usually “focus their attention on positive relationship information and overlook or minimize negative relationship information.” At the same time, “individuals with low
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