One writer's thoughts on how the pandemic helped her see what was important in life
The traditional responsibilities of a rabbi’s wife, colloquially in Yiddish the “rebbetzin,” are to visit the sick, attend weddings, funerals and charity dinners at her husband’s side, host refined Shabbat and holiday dinners, teach religious studies and inspire the women in the community—a spiritual First Lady. It is life in a fishbowl: one is expected to smile, nod, hold hands, listen; to be present.
Oh, but I failed at it. I never managed to do it all, the superwoman act, the ability to work several shifts: to go to my office daily and be a mother and to make every bereavement visit and to call people when they’re sick; to go to every wedding and to teach the Torah to women and to always look just-so. I tried my best to multitask, but found myself overworked, run ragged. I slowly learned how to grit my teeth and smile, no matter what we were enduring.
“Yes, actually,” I wrote back. But after a year of online conversations in lieu of communal gatherings, I wanted—desperately—to take that wish back. Something shifted in me. I realized the utter futility of so much of what we call “online conversation,” which is rarely dialogue and more often opportunistic screaming into the wind, the whoosh that our newsfeeds make as we refresh them.
“What’s gotten into you?” Benjamin asked a month ago, watching as I pored over our social calendar and my inbox—he was pleasantly surprised, not used to seeing me so invested in the dream he's had for all these years.. “We need to bring people back together,” I said, typing away furiously.
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