You want to feel safe and welcome in your chosen day care or preschool environment.
and parent of two, agrees. He’s found strangers and friends alike to be generous with sharing their honest childcare experiences, both good and not so good. “Facebook is a really good source for connecting in general with gay dads, but specifically about that,” he says. Local groups as well as ones for LGBTQ+ parents can be helpful sources of information.and parent of two, that personal feedback is key.
That said, being the only queer family shouldn’t necessarily be a deterrent. It wasn’t for Beckham’s family. “We felt so comfortable with what they were doing, there were some queer and nonbinary staff members and things like that. I don’t think you need to have people that are necessarily like you to feel supported,” she says.When you go for in-person visits of childcare programs, take note of whether they advertise their inclusivity.
The school that Dekel ended up selecting celebrates “Parents’ Day” instead of Mother’s Day, welcoming all caregivers. For their first Parents’ Day, Dekel’s family chose to honor their sons’ nanny, who had remained in touch and become family to them.When searching for LGBTQ+ inclusive childcare, it’s worth examining all the ways in which they are inclusive. “I think it’s important to really honestly look at their diversity, not just relative to your diversity,” says Beckham.
Willman saw this when she first visited her kids’ day care and has continued to assess as one of her children explores their gender identity. “It’s one thing for us to be queer parents, but when my kid is demonstrating his gender fluidity, it’s different and I get this protective mode,” she says. “But we have been continuously affirmed.”No matter how warm and fuzzy the space, conflicts and tricky situations will arise.
A trans friend taking a break from nursing ultimately stepped up and accepted the nanny position, for which Skinner is deeply grateful though it’s required dipping into savings to cover. She just found a LGBTQ+ affirming in-home day care where her son can start this summer. “She paints her son’s nails, everyone’s pronouns are respected…and it’s so much more affordable than a nanny.” It took time, but ultimately Skinner was able to find options that work for her family.
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